I Don't Know
by Anna W
Summary: Katie is in love with the one person that she can't have: Spot Conlon. He is her confidante and he loves her as a friend,but doesn't have the same feelings because Katie's friend Julia has already stolen his heart. can these two find love for each other?
1. Default Chapter

"Who are you, Katie?"  
  
I stared disgustedly at myself in the small round mirror of my quiet and dark room. My face, through the darkness of the room, was tear stained and puffy, only reflecting a smidgen of the pain I felt deep within myself. I realized how this was a pain that had been cuddled and indulged for years. How unknowing of me! How childish and selfish. How idiotic. How.so.like.me.  
  
Realizing that insults would do no good to me now, I numbly turned away from the mirror, revolted with my reflection. It had never been enjoyable before, but now the hate of my self only added to the insecurity of my physical appearance. I was not ugly, far from it, nor was I plain and beautiful was not an option either. It just so happened that since there was no middle factor to describe myself as, I had easily decided at an early age to go with a humble opinion. I was comely in a very unappealing way.  
  
My attributes were mostly plain. I had pale white skin and untamed, brown, curly hair which only had two purposes in life: One was to annoy the living hell out of me and the other to constantly wish I had not lost the few pins I needed to fasten it up. I lived with it, though there was really no reason that I could not have taken scissors to it many a time before now.  
  
My green eyes that I possessed were the only feature on my face worth looking at. They were bright, livid and constantly active. I had always been so proud of them. They had been my only feature worth bragging about, though to brag was not in my personality. Perhaps though by bragging to myself, it had made it okay.  
  
But humility was my predisposed disposition, even at my age of sixteen. When I thought of my eyes, I quickly reminded myself of the retched freckles dotting my nose. Those would not relinquish their terrible reign ever, so my humility was there to stay.  
  
This all was so petty though! How silly it was to think about my face when my heart was the thing causing me eternal ache. How could I be strong against this ache? How could I make it go away? There seemed no way.  
  
I was drawn in two directions. Two endless roads that would both take me to some place unknown. My heart was torn between each and my soul was longing for a decision. I wanted to leave; I wanted to go with him, yet how could I? How could I succumb to my selfishness like this, allowing it to swallow me whole?  
  
I paced in my small room, the light of the candle waning with every swishing step I took. If the candle had gone out, it would have made little or no difference to me. My thoughts took all of my concentration leaving none behind to worry about my surroundings.  
  
He would never love me. He would never turn himself away from her, the wench that had stolen his heart, so what was the point of going with him? What was the point of breaking my heart more than it needed to be broken? He needed my help, my undying support, but if he ever knew of my love, my complete adoration of his beautiful figure and wonderful countenance.what would happen?  
  
"Stupid fool!" I scolded.  
  
He would be repelled. My beauty (or lack there of) would not hold him to me. My intellect he had never appreciated to its fullest. My companionship he had only loved as a friend and even then, sometimes it had been forgotten as well. There were only two things that held him to me: my loyalty and my words.  
  
The first time I had met him, he had told me in later years how much he loved my words. He said that I "got through to him". The way I spoke "made him wonder" about life and such, but little did he know how much wondering I already was doing.  
  
His beautiful blue eyes had captivated me the minute that they had met mine. His lips had immediately smirked upward when seeing me, only making the blush come more fully to my pale face. His voice had been deep, with a hint of serious laughter. That had been the confusing thing about it. Everything he did opposed himself even more. That was not what made me stay though. I stayed only because I started to oppose myself as well, and I, I realized now, had liked it.  
  
I stopped pacing, realizing the loud noise accompanying my stressful steps. It would wake my parents, my siblings. Any hint at my nervous composure would give them the means of comforting me. If they comforted me, I would no longer be torn. I would no longer wish to go.  
  
It was so easy, but it could not happen that way. If it happened that way then I would be living a lie the rest of my life. I had to let fate decide for me, I had to let it happen as it would, no outside influences hindering the decision.  
  
Suddenly a slight tap sounded through the room, which abruptly made me jump. Wide-eyed I turned to the only window in my room, dirty and smudged from lack of care and assertiveness. I slowly approached it, trying to see the figure standing on the other side. There was no use, it was so blurry and unclean that I wondered why the person had dared to touch it in the first place.  
  
"Katie?"  
  
I froze. It was all I could do to suppress the cry that wanted to escape my lips, perhaps in joy but even more likely in pain. Why was he here? Why must he come see me now of all the times he could have? For some reason my eyes did not wish to adore his glorious features tonight of all nights where that would have been my first and foremost pleasure.  
  
The window slowly and silently traveled up, revealing the standard sight of brown trousers, one belt loop sheathing his deadly cane, a weapon he had often used to defend himself. His black muddy boots slowly came into view and finally the worst part that made me turn and stare unable to avert my vision: his blue eyes. They stared at me happily, his mouth asserting itself to the normal smirk I was so accustomed to seeing. I continued to stare as he slowly climbed into my room, walking into the shadows that the candle could not drive away.  
  
"Ay, Kate, why aintcha openin' da window fer me?"  
  
I turned away from his form that leaned so serenely against my bedpost. How absolutely powerful he looked, how carefree to my worries. He was always placidly viewing me, interpreting my composure to balance his reaction. Tonight though, he seemed not to read me well. Perhaps the darkness influenced this or maybe there was someone else on his mind.  
  
"Conlon, I want you to leave."  
  
My own voice surprised me. As I turned to face him, I noticed the surprise in his expression as well. I didn't usually speak to him in that manner. I suppose that's because I didn't usually wish for him to be gone. I had always wanted him to stay so that I could get my fair dosage of what I would never have. Tonight I would not torment myself. Tonight I had realized what I was doing.  
  
His eyes stared at me worriedly as I said this, his mouth forming so sweetly into a frown. I knew that I had cut him, but only as much as a newspaper had decidedly chiseled at his hand. It would not affect him the way I wanted it to. He did not have feelings enough for me to be hurt. I was his friend, a confidante but mostly someone he could depend on to help him attain what he really wanted.Julia.  
  
I bowed my head as I thought of the retched name that had caused me so many nights' tears. I remembered what he had said the very first day he had seen her.  
  
"Beautiful, Kate, ain't she? So beautiful dat I don't wanna take me eyes offa 'er!"  
  
I wanted to cry. I wanted to flail on the floor and scream of how I had always been his friend! How I would always be there for him. How, if he asked me, I would love him forever! Instead, I stood motionless listening numbly to his response.  
  
"Why ya want me ta leave, Kate? I jist got 'ere!"  
  
I shook my head, feeling the tears come. Darkness was the only comfort I could find for them.  
  
"I don't know why.maybe I just want to be alone."  
  
I regretted saying that the minute I said it. I did not wish to be alone, that was the last thing that I wanted. But what I did want, he could not give me. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to cry in his shirt and for him to whisper sweet phrases that would make the hurt go away. I wanted to feel his fingers in my hair, making me appreciate it more than I ever would. I wanted so badly, his love for me.  
  
"Well, if ya wanna be alone.I'll jist go." He proceeded to walk back over to the window, staring strangely at me.  
  
"Wait!" I yelled as he stuck one of his mud-clad shoes out of the opening.  
  
He turned to view me, questioningly trying to read my expression. He took his newsie hat off, a hat that veiled a light brown almost golden mess I had seen so many times shimmering in the sunlight. He scratched his head, waiting for my reasoning.  
  
"Why did you come?" I asked, backing into the other side of the shadows to wipe away my tears. With that, he smirked again, a sign only making my stomach sink deeper.  
  
"I jist came ta talk ta ya. I knew ya wasn't asleep yet.ya neva' are at dis time o' da night anyway. An anoder ding.ya didn't go ta Medda's last night so I couldn't talk ta ya den-"  
  
"What do you want to talk to me about?"  
  
My curt cut-in caused him to cock his head, surprised once again. He took his foot out of its present position and leaned again my bedpost once again, staring strangely at me.  
  
"Jist bout what happened da udder night. Ya know, at Medda's show dat ya did go ta. Julia.did ya see 'er, Kate? She came.an' she sat by me an everyting."  
  
He stopped talking again, seeing how I turned away from him, walking away, trying to release myself from the pain he put upon me. I felt more tears gracing my eyes, traveling down my face.  
  
"Kate?"  
  
"What, Spot?" I turned toward him, sniffling slightly. He stood up, relinquishing his leaning position and walked toward me.  
  
"Kate, ya don't look too good.did sometin happen.did Kelly say sometin again."  
  
I shook my head and again he looked baffled. I noticed the distance he put between him and me. If it were Julia crying, he would have embraced her sweetly and given her more comfort than he had ever shone me. Knowing that he would get no closer, I pulled farther away. It was obstinate, but he was worthy of it.  
  
"Kelly did say sometin!" he whispered harshly.  
  
I only shook my head again. This had nothing to do with the meaningless things Jack Kelly had said to me. Jack didn't matter to me anymore even though only months before he had meant the world. I would have given him anything, I even thought at one point I had loved him.  
  
Love for Kelly? Now it seemed so ludicrous. I was shocked at the complete opposite of my emotions in just several months, but realizing my wandering thought and Spot's intense stare I quickly disengaged any previous presumption of the past that I had loved.  
  
"Kate, I know its hard ta talk bout Kelly, it was a hard breakup, fer everybody."  
  
"Jack hasn't talked to me in a couple of weeks, Spot."  
  
He bowed his head now, rubbing his eyes. I wanted to tell him everything that had been consuming my brain for the past night. I would have told him sooner if I had not been foolish, if I had realized my feelings early on and admitted to them, maybe I would have what I so desired.  
  
"Look, Kate, we ain't getting' anywhere, talking like dis. Why don't we jist go out ta da usual place an' jus' talk it out. Looks like ya need a good talk."  
  
I hesitated. Usually I would have agreed, wiping my tears away, forgetting the past worries and gone with him, to get the miniscule support that would last me for weeks. I was torn this time again and the visualization of the two roads before me once more passed my mind. Which one would I take this time?  
  
"Kate," he said, motioning me with his hand to follow him out the window. I stood still. If I followed him, it would lead to the destruction of my quickly fading self, but if I didn't follow him I would miss one of my few chances to be with my friend, the one I loved, regardless of what he spoke of.  
  
"Spot, I.I can't." I was stuttering because of him. I felt myself begin to unravel. I couldn't turn away.  
  
I walked toward the window and he helped me out of it, the usual smirk appearing on his face. I turned away from the smirk, realizing my weakness. He unknowingly held his power over me and I was spiteful for it. I had my own brain, my own feelings and what was I doing? I was following recklessly a boy that had no more sense then I did.  
  
He climbed out of the window after me, putting his hands protectively over my shoulder. It was comforting and so special, but knowing that he was not thinking this there was no point for me to either. He was an older brother. I would not have that love.  
  
We walked on into the street, the arm never leaving its shielding position. Finally, we climbed on the roof of our "spot", sat down, and he began filling in a dark void that had taken place long ago when nothing had been realized. 


	2. Ch 2

It had been wonderful, the first year with Jack Kelly. He found ways to mesmerize me, trapping me in his world alone. I could see nothing else; I could hear nothing else. All I knew were his words and his beautiful actions. Not at first though.  
  
Jack Kelly to me at first had been a rogue newspaper boy, obnoxious and loud enough to scare me away. Buying a paper from his loud yells had been a surprising action. I had not wanted to walk over to him, I had not even wanted to buy a paper that morning, but perhaps my intrigue had been a simple play on curiosity.  
  
It was a spell even from the first moment he had talked to me. Jack had sprinkled me with his magic dust of words, taking me away from everything else in my life. He said he loved me. He said it was serious. He said all of these things for two years and then that was when his dust wore off into a serious reality that we both had to face. Neither of us was perfect, but that was not the main thing that struck the string between us so harshly. He had realized that my intentions were elsewhere, even then. Why had it taken me until now to realize?  
  
I had not known that my love for Spot was stronger than friendship. I had no idea of my own emotions boiling down in the depths of me. How had Jack Kelly seen them so clearly?  
  
"Like crystal, Katie."  
  
He had told me this when his mind had not been all there. How could I have not gotten mad? Spot had been standing there listening to the bitter argument, his head hanging in confusion and embarrassment. A look someone so powerful should never hold. But eventually my voice had been drowned out to Jack's overpowering yells. The yells that cut through me like knives, painful splinters. It had been horrifying.  
  
For the first time, Jack Kelly's words had not been beautiful to me. They did not spin a spell around me and capture me for good. If anything, they repelled me from his retched being even faster than I had been taken to him.  
  
It had been too much for Spot too. His two friends bickering with a hate and malice he had probably never imagined he would see between us before. He unquestionably had seen the unrecognizable stars in my eyes; but even worse, he had acknowledged Jack, full of a drink that would consume him for the next months.  
  
"I even introduced ya ta 'im!"  
  
It had been time to leave when those words were spoken. Jack had been seething with anger, sweat tearing up on his forehead, his messy straight bangs consumed in water. Spot had had to pull me away, making me walk away from a relationship that had spurred on new and wonderful changes.  
  
All the while, through the yelling, through the drinking, through falling out of love, there was still a picture in all three of our minds. It was a painting of plainness, of truth of a happier time. The first time to be exact. The first time I had seen Spot, the first day I had been with Jack. The first day of my new life. It had been interesting, so intriguing that I had yet to say no to this handsome new stranger who called himself Jack Kelly. He offered me lunch, actually paying for my lunch. He offered me compliments, telling me how I was a "pretty goil", how I had caught his eye. It was sweet but still it had not intrigued me fully. When he had grabbed my hand looking deeply into my eyes, his playful happiness dancing in his vision, I had been convinced.  
  
"Ay, Katie, what doya want ta eat?"  
  
His voice had been so annoying at first, but now it seemed inviting, perhaps even friendliness coated it.  
  
"Maybe some water."  
  
He let go of my hand, pulling some clanking change out of his pockets, went, and paid for the order. I stood there, shyly staring at the many other faces that greeted my vision. Some were beautiful brown eyes with nice smiles and welcoming expressions. Others were not so hospitable. Some faces stared coldly at me, lifeless belligerence traveling throughout their whole manner.  
  
No eyes could have caught my attention though, because by immediately turning around I found myself face to face with a very smooth chin. Upon looking up, I realized that it would be too difficult to turn away; I had seen his eyes.  
  
They were blue, brightly enriched with a deep power and swelling with a pride that even my newly founded lunch partner could not possess. The boy's mouth was twisted harshly into a look of annoyance but quickly softened to a light scowl. He viewed me with curiosity, taking in the trance on my face, the awe in my lifeless arms.  
  
"'Scuse me," he muttered.  
  
I shook my head, attempting to rid myself of the stupor I had so been enjoying. Who was that? He had swallowed me in something that I was not used to. There had been a connection, no matter how long it had lasted.  
  
I noticed how my emotions had swept me away so quickly, unlike my first impression of Jack. This new boy was polite, elevating, beautiful and the best of all, he seemed (even from the few seconds I had seen him) to understand everything.  
  
I turned swiftly around to see this beautiful stranger sit at a table by himself. Several "hellos" and "heyas" were yelled in his direction, but he merely tipped his cap at all of it unaffected by the loudness and the attention.  
  
Before I knew it, my own attention was taken again by Jack's quick tap of my shoulder and swift moving arm around my waist. He pulled me over to the very table the boy sat at.  
  
"Heya, Spot," Jack said, smiling humorously as the boy, Spot, looked up. He stared vaguely at me, a smirk adorning his lips then at Jack.  
  
"Why Jacky-boy. Dis is da new goil ya been telling me bout? Da one dat won't give ya da time a day?"  
  
Jack shook his head, staring at me shyly, and simultaneously, Spot and I laughed at his "apologetic" look. It was interesting how Spot stared at me after doing so. His eyes studied me deeply, seeming to almost read my thoughts. I stared back at him as well, but seeing how silly it seemed just standing there, I proceeded to introduce myself:  
  
"My name is Katie. Pleasure to meet you Spot."  
  
He smirked again, nodding toward me, then his eyes glazed over apparently trying to hide the humor he thought of this situation.  
  
"It took ya foreva ta get 'er heah, Jack. Ya might wanna make sure she stays."  
  
Spot's perceptible hint caused Jack to pull a chair out for me and I sat down, thinking how odd his behavior was. Jack had never wanted to be polite to me, he just acted cocky and sly, as if he would have me the second he wanted. That was why I had refused so many times. I was not to be wooed by some jabbering underdog that acted as if he ruled New York City. He had told me that perhaps he would change my opinion today.  
  
Jack sat beside me, his arm always there, securing me as his own. We all ate lunch, Spot and Jack talking of this and that, indicating rumors that had supposedly started about this boy, some show at a place called Medda's.  
  
"O Katie, you'll hafta come ta da show wit me tomorra!" Jack had insisted.  
  
"We'll see how lunch goes, Jack," I had responded evenly.  
  
Jack looked at Spot; an unknown glint in his eye and Spot nodded accordingly, his smirk deepening a lovely dimple that showed up on the side of his face. I stared at both of them, wondering, but there was no use in questioning either of the two vagabonds. Their lips were sealed.  
  
Lunch ended after that. Jack's two hours were up with me and he wanted to know the outcome. His nervous and excited actions were amusing to me, so I smiled and stood as well.  
  
"How'd da lunch go, Katie? Am I worthy of ya time?" he asked slowly walking me to the door. I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a displeased look upon my face. It didn't work.  
  
"I guess I'm interested, Jack Kelly," I had replied walking to the door, "Maybe I'll even show up at Medda's." His eyes widened and he laughed heartily at my sarcasm.  
  
"Guess I bedda come git ya."  
  
"I can follow directions, Jack. Just tell me where it is. I do live in Manhattan after all!"  
  
We both had laughed. He quickly grabbed my hand, kissed it and reported the directions to Medda's. I had loosely replied my intentions of going. It had been so perfect. It had been so different and so thrilling. That's when Jack Kelly and I had come together. If only I had known then that it was the beginning of the end. That both of our lives would fall apart, newly shattered pieces that would take forever to put back together. 


	3. Ch 3

It was beautiful outside. The air was cool, reminding one of what it was like without heat. Summer was almost over, thank goodness, and the breeze blowing throughout New York City was a refreshing new start. Maybe just like the heat, my pain would end.  
  
When I turned my vision away from the intriguing night sky, which had chosen to grace itself with stars, I noticed Spot's stare. He looked worried, but as always when dealing with me, confused. So confused that he spoke nothing of Julia, nothing of his feelings. He simply inquired to me with his eyes. I didn't respond to his questioning stares. How could I? What would I say to him?  
  
Possibilities floated through my mind, spinning around in my head with a convincing air. When I felt compelled to speak, I stopped myself. There was no use of these silly feelings. There was no use of hoping. As I was constantly reminding myself, his heart was not even close to be connected with mine, and his mind could not fathom this ever happening.  
  
"Katie, ya sure ya alright.ya ain't lookin' good at all."  
  
I looked down, pulling my legs underneath me. I did not wish to answer his interrogations. Even though he happened to be one of my closest friends, the person I had shared everything with, I felt no need to inform him of the horrible feelings traveling through me lately. The hurt from Jack.the hopelessness of him.  
  
"Why don't you tell me about Julia," I whispered.  
  
He shrugged, lifting his arms above his head in a stretch. He constantly told me of the ache in his back from selling newspapers and from the rotten mattress he slept on. Many newsies had this problem. Their workdays were strenuous but sleeping was even worse. Sometimes there was no bed for them to come home to. When I heard these stories it made me overjoyed to know I had a home to come home to, a nice warm bed to sleep in, but most importantly, a loving family. Spot had imparted to me many a time that this was what mattered the most in life. He was of course very right.  
  
"Well, Julia, she's jist wondaful, Kate, she really is."  
  
He smirked at me again, happiness too obvious on his face. He was happy with this, with her. He would not be happy with me, not in the state I was in.  
  
I smiled lightly as he went on describing Julia, why he liked her, how beautiful she was. He continued from that relaying how no girl had affected him this way before. He felt stupid, an absolute moron for treating girls like those that he had dated previously. He had been a strong leader but that was no excuse for how he had acted. If anything, that had been weak.  
  
Now he looked to me for the words he so expected. I had always given the right ones before, but my jealousy and my hurt feelings caused me to pause. I did not want to give him the affirmative he so desperately wanted. I did not want to admit my defeat finally, though the truth of it had lingered in my mind for many days.  
  
"It sounds like you know what your doing."  
  
I had answered vaguely on purpose and of course; he noticed my lack of output.  
  
"No, Kate, what doya tink? I mean, I always trust ya judgment.ya ain't eva steered me wrong before."  
  
I smiled at the compliment, though inwardly grimaced at the meaning. I had always given good advice to those who asked for it, with one exception: myself. I had steered myself down too many wrong roads and horrifying adventures that I could not bring myself to again practice my bad sense of direction.  
  
"Spot, I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life. Why would you ask for advice when I might lead you in the wrong way of doing things? Do what you feel is right."  
  
He thought on this for a moment, his eyes probably reflecting on the memories of my transgressions. He had been present for most of them. My sudden closure with Jack.the attempt to run away.so many other things that haunted my mind and took a very lively spot in his.  
  
He looked into my eyes piercingly. His serious stare made me almost believe that he would say something to fit the moment, maybe reassure me that it was okay. Perhaps tell me that if anything, he understood. I visualized the words traveling from his lips, a smirk placing itself perfectly in line, making his eyes glimmer. This was not so. My imagination again, left me unprepared for the worst.  
  
"Well, I know dat youses made lots o' bad decisions in ya life, but ya neva made one bad judgment in mine, so I guess I's can trust ya."  
  
I shook my head, blinking several times, hoping that his words would change from what they had clearly been spoken to mean. His insult and lack of care was so apparent that even my emotions would not change the view I suddenly replaced him with.  
  
"What?" I asked, too baffled to be hurt.  
  
He looked at me too, bemused as well. I scooted slightly away from him, feeling childlike and petty. Julia had filled his mind so much that he had forgotten reason, forgotten common courtesy. He had even forgotten my feelings, which before now had been one of his first priorities.  
  
"Kate, I was jist sayin' how ya always helped me before now-"  
  
"That's not exactly what it sounded like."  
  
I would have said more, insulting him on his love struck stupidity, but then I realized: that is all that it was. He was love struck and he had no idea what he was saying. How could I blame him for a crime I had committed myself?  
  
Surprisingly, he stood up, wiping off the dust that covered his brown pants. I noticed how much taller he had gotten since the first time I had seen him. His lanky figure made one think him weak, but as an experienced fight watcher, I knew this was not so. Spot Conlon may look weak, but his graceful movements were used not just with girls. When threatened, Spot had often surprised me with his strength, mentally as well as physically. There were very few black eyes that I could remember him attaining. Spot would let no fists get through to him and bruise or blacken his perfect face.  
  
"If dat ain't strength, den I don't know what is," Jack had told me once.  
  
Spot cleared his throat, his eyes studying me again in shock. There was nothing that I could say to him to explain the inquiry, so I simply stared back. He apparently wanted to tell me something, and I knew, that it was again, not going to be the three words, I wished for with all of my being.  
  
"Ay, Kate, I ain't."  
  
He paused, trying to generate words of some worry deep in his mind, surprisingly not including Julia.  
  
"I'se worried bout ya," he finally muttered, stuffing his ink stained hands in his pockets.  
  
I viewed him silently for several minutes. Of course, he was genuine; he had always been with me before. This sudden outburst confused me though. What was I to think? Was he worried because the only person that actually understood him was growing apart from him and wishing him away, or was he disappointed that the only person who would talk to him of Julia was losing her touch?  
  
"What do you mean you're worried about me? There's nothing to be worried about."  
  
He shrugged. I knew I was making him uncomfortable, just as my newly discovered feelings were making me want to cry. His thoughts probably included confusion: not understanding my sudden change. An incomprehensible sorrow: my good advice was running low. Still, most importantly the trust that there had never been a reason to question: how could he trust this stranger that had just appeared? This was not the Katie he knew so well. This was not the girl that would smile vividly all of the time. This was not the girl that picked up his newspapers for him when he dropped them, or paid for lunch when he was running low on change.  
  
"I ain't da only one dat's worried bout ya, Katie. Medda says ya look sick, Blink is sayin' dat ya don't even say a quick 'hey,' when ya see 'im on da streets. Even Julia says ya lookin' like ya been run ova by sometin-"  
  
"What do you say?"  
  
He quizzically shook his head, losing his train of thought from my interruption. It struck me oddly, why he would suddenly go on a tirade of what everyone else was saying about me. I'm sure I was not the most liked person at the moment, but why must he share with me their uninformed opinions? There were only three people that knew the story completely and it would stay that way.  
  
"What do you say?" I questioned again, standing up and meeting his tall, threatening stance.  
  
"I'se says dat dere's more ta da story den dey see."  
  
He broke our tense gaze by looking away. I realized then how taut a position my mouth was in and how my eyes were fixated in a glare. I calmed my facial expressions as he continued his quiet speech:  
  
"I'se also says dat maybe dere's more ta da story den I see."  
  
I closed my eyes at his words, trying to block out the truth. How well he saw me now. How easily he had penetrated my actions, dissecting them to the point of understanding.  
  
"Spot."  
  
He looked up at me, seeing how my hands gripped together and how my face began to pale.  
  
"Katie?"  
  
"Spot, I want to go home."  
  
He nodded gently grabbing my hand to help me off the roof. I yanked it away and again he stared dumbfounded. I did not want to touch his hand when all it was doing was giving me pretentious feelings of actions that he would never perform. He would never hold me hand throughout one of Medda's shows as he had done to Julia. He would never touch my face.  
  
Again, tears flowed as he shook his head, surprised and unknowing.  
  
"I can climb down a ladder myself." My words made the tears fill my eyes again, no need for them to threateningly balance on my eyelid; they were well down my face.  
  
He noticed the tears of course. He noticed how I wrung my hands obsessively. Through all of his realizations, he made no comment nonetheless, not one sound. He walked me home, up the escape ladder and through my window not muttering anything, not comforting me, as I wanted him to.  
  
As I climbed through the window and walked away, my back turned, I heard his soft cough. Upon spinning toward him, I saw his sad stare. He wasn't completely devoid of emotion.  
  
"Spot.I just can't talk right now.I just." I closed my eyes again, more tears spilling down my face.  
  
"I ain't understandin', Kate." His whisper was surprising. It reminded me of his attitude toward me the first few months he knew me; distant and testy.  
  
" Youse was okay yesterday, an da day before dat. Yous been okay fer weeks now. I know its only been tree munts since da breakup, but.yous was okay!"  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"I'm trying to be strong, Spot. I'm trying so hard, but sometimes.it doesn't work out."  
  
He seemed not to notice what I was saying, for he went on into another string of confusion:  
  
"Dat ain't da only ting I ain't understandin'. I ain't understandin' da breakup-"  
  
"You were there. You should understand," I interrupted confused.  
  
"No," he countered. "What I ain't understandin' is dat its been tree munts an' ya ain't even tried ta find someone else. I mean, dat'll help ya get ova it. I'se cin introduce ya ta one o' me boys. Ya pretty enough fer lots o' people, Kate." I stopped listening after that. There was no point in indulging myself with his hurtful words. Instead, I studied his lips, moving ravenously fast, attempting to explain to me why I should be over Jack Kelly now. He was so beautiful, he was so smart, but why must he say these things to me?  
  
I held up my hand, no longer wishing to hear any more of his words.  
  
"Spot, maybe you should go home. I'm tired."  
  
"Okay, but I'll see ya tomorah, an member Medda's show's in a week. Ya can't miss dis one! At Medda's show I'll introduce ya ta someone.id'll all be ova soon.an' ya cin talk ta Julia."  
  
I knew that my next words would kill me, possibly break me for longer than even Jack could. Nevertheless, I said them, knowing nothing would change unless I changed.  
  
"Don't come tomorrow."  
  
He stared at me, baffled beyond reason.  
  
"Den I'll see ya at Medda's show."  
  
"No, you won't," I muttered, turning around. I crossed my arms across my chest, feeling the cold, and shivering.  
  
I heard him almost make another attempt, but then, apparently the truth broke through to him. He closed his mouth for a while. I heard his sweet breath, heavily taking in the air from the peculiarity of the situation.  
  
"Okay, Kate, I'll give ya, ya space."  
  
I did not comment back to him, but I realized that no longer would he come into my room at night, torturing me with the inevitable. No longer would he ignore my family, not wishing to eat dinner with us as I had constantly offered. He would not come to my father's store and ask me to eat lunch with him. As I had suspected, Julia would take over soon enough. There would be no need of me any longer.  
  
I realized then that I had finally chosen a road, and that desperately I wished for the other one. 


	4. Ch 4

I decided to like mark what's going on so ya'll can figure it out better! So here we go!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Walking to my father's store, every morning had been a living hell. The impenetrable stares had been horrifying to my already weak outer exposure. They all knew about the breakup, and they hated me for it.  
  
The newsies stares followed me everywhere for weeks on end. They would coldly regard me as I walked the several blocks to the store. Their stares only informed me of the disgust I already knew about. Who wouldn't know about it? Once again, Jack Kelly's fast talking mouth had spread the word faster than I would have liked. That didn't mean he wasn't liking it.  
  
He told them to hate me. He filled their minds with a putrid sense of my haughtiness, of my disregard for the poor street urchin he was. His self- pity was disgusting, but even worse were the easily conformed minds of his newsie followers. Only a day before they had enjoyed my presence, laughing and joking like the friends we were. The morning after the breakup had proved a different side to the story, showing me how truly cold-hearted my dear friends could become. They turned their backs so suddenly that I had no chance to catch my breath.  
  
There was never confrontation though. They wouldn't dare touch me, or mock me openly, not with Spot's watchful eye over the whole situation.  
  
The silence was enough.  
  
They knew this, as did I. They knew that by doing this, they would shoo me out of their lives purposely. They knew that by turning their back on me when I quietly passed by, they would push me to the point of breakage.  
  
That's how they wanted it. That's how Jack wanted to see me: breaking and bending. He wanted me to suffer for the pain he was in. He wanted me to wish I had never been born.  
  
"Ain't worth mindin' dem, Kate. Dey'll get ova it soon enough."  
  
Spot's words had been a comfort when I had informed him numbly of their actions. As weeks passed by though, these words could not comfort me anymore. What they meant wasn't true. They were filling my ears with lies. Jack's newsies, my friends, would not consent to will themselves away from this fight. They were fighting for their leader; they were fighting for the lies he beheld as well.  
  
Walking down the street on that fateful day had been too much. The actions that they had committed deliberately, making me feel horrible. The foot stuck out in front of me, causing me to fly to the feet of Jack and my mouth to fill with dust. The tears stinging my eyes could not be forgotten either, as Jack Kelly said his crucial words to fit such a momentous day.  
  
"Look at ya, Katie. Yous was da one dat broke up wit me, an ya still throwin' yaself at my feet. I can't seem ta brush ya off."  
  
Hatred was in his voice. Hatred was in his eyes, and there were many pairs matching his exactly. Mush, Itey, Skittery, Pie Eater, Snotty.all of them. I had not seen Kid Blink, but it made little difference. He would not involve himself either way.  
  
How Jack had hurt me that day! How much I had wanted to beat him, punching him until his face was blue. It was a wonder that I got up silently, brushing off my dress, straightening my hair and then walking away without a sound. Keeping my cool had been key, though surprise and rage had filled me, willing me to let them both escape the confining cage within me.  
  
I waited.  
  
I waited until I had walked past my father's store. I held all of it back as I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge. I stayed calm as I saw Spot Conlon sitting upon a wooden box at his docks.  
  
Then when he looked up, met my gaze, and those beautiful blue eyes had pierced into my calm green ones, an explosion took place.  
  
I cried out, dropping to my knees. Spot was dumbfounded at first, but when he saw me gently rock back to sit on my heals, and my hands attempt to cover my tear stained face, he jumped off the box and ran to me.  
  
"O god, Kate! Whas wrong wit ya?"  
  
He had pulled my hands away from my face, staring deeply into my hurt eyes, my broken stance. Then he had grabbed my shoulders and held me, the only comfort I could have wished for.  
  
We had felt it then, no matter how much he denied it. No matter how much I wished it was not so. It had struck a deep cord in each one of us.  
  
I had chosen to recognize it; he had not.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FURTHER BACK FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The directions had been poorly given, and poorly received. Neither he nor I were truly paying attention to them, so perhaps that was the cause of my lateness. I still came though, defying the rules I had respected for so long.  
  
Sneaking out of my house had not been easy. My parents were both light sleepers, but never had they been awakened by me before. I was always the good girl, staying in my room, working at my father's shop. There had never been any reason to break the rules.  
  
I was scared to death.  
  
Doing this would defy the close relationship I had grown up with. Doing this could possibly kill the "good girl" in me. Did I want to kill the person I had been for fifteen years of my life?  
  
Of course.  
  
As I showed up at the door, I was shocked by the bright lights. Blinking slightly I read the sign above the door. "Irving Hall". It seemed to be a rowdy place, for as I walked inside, loud yelling and singing greeted my ears, and a funny vision met my sight.  
  
The place was full of newsboys. From the very rafters down to the floor they covered the entire area. There was so many of them! How in the world was I to find Jack?  
  
I stood in a shocked position, watching all the new and exciting things around me. Some boys were yelling and some were discussing things among themselves. Others were talking to a very eccentric looking women. She was dressed all in pink and had flaming red hair. Though her appearance was somewhat disturbing, the bright smile illuminating her face made her seem very welcoming and lovable.  
  
"Aincha Katie?"  
  
I turned surprised toward the voice that said my name. Looking through the semi-darkness, I saw a figure standing haughtily in front of me. His cap, and the slight darkness that the room was in, showered his face in blackness, except for the smirking lips that dared me to say something informal back to him.  
  
"I'm Katie," I replied. "Where's-"  
  
"Jack?"  
  
He took his cap off, revealing the eyes that had taken me captive the day before in the restaurant. Again, Spot stood in front of me. I stood there, stunned once more, by the beauty of it all.  
  
He smiled again, wiping perspiration off his tan forehead.  
  
"Yeah," I finally replied, cursing myself for my sudden pause, "I'm looking for Jack."  
  
He pointed one long dirty finger in the direction of the stage.  
  
"Jack's near da stage, he told me ta look out fer ya."  
  
I noticed the fact that we both had to yell to each other to be heard. His voice carried well and it had a harsh sound to it that made me pause again, but not for so long this time.  
  
"Thank you," I muttered, knowing well that my mouth had embarrassingly lowered into a shocked state and that my eyes were filled with awe.  
  
"Ain'ta problem," he said, then suddenly turning behind him, he smiled. I saw his arm go around a girl. She kissed his cheek.  
  
"I'll be seein' ya lata, Kate," he called and walked away with the girl. As I turned toward the stage and pushed through the crowd, I realized that that was the first time someone had called me "Kate" before. Usually they referred to me as Katherine, Katie, Kat, but never before had I been Kate. Could it mean something?  
  
"KATIE!" the loud yell made me look up into the sweating and happy face of Jack, but still my thoughts were distracted.  
  
"Ise so glad ya made it!" he called, wrapping his arm around me.  
  
Then night passed by, loud and thrilling but I remained quiet still. I met Medda, the owner of Irving Hall, and she seemingly took to me quickly. She was kind, very risqué, but still I enjoyed being with her through the fifteen minutes we spent.  
  
At the end of the night, Jack interrupted my thoughtful attitude. He looked at me, smiling his cocky sweet smile.  
  
When his arm went around me once again, I lifted my head to him, feeling his curiosity at my quietness. My head turned to look into Jack's eyes and they were no longer annoying. They no longer repelled me like the many times before when I had attempted to ignore him in the streets. He was suddenly the only person I wanted to see.  
  
"Ay, it took me foreva ta get ya heah.was it worth it?"  
  
When Jack uttered these words, there was no doubt in my mind; there was no other thought. I wanted to be with him, and I realized it then. He made me feel worthwhile; he made me want to be different.  
  
Without thinking, both of us leaned into each other. My first kiss, my first love. All in one night.  
  
It was absolute bliss, and nothing could go wrong. How sweet it is at first. How perfect. 


	5. Authors note

Hey y'all!!!!!!! I know its been forever and a day since I've updated, but I just wanted ya'll to know that its coming..soooon.verrrryyyy soon I hope and I'm sure ya'll will enjoy the new part! I'm going on a trip to Florida so when I come back I'll be sure to post what I've got! Just wanted to warn my readers that it might take another week or two, but not to worry! I'm still writing it! Lol.  
  
With much love!  
  
Anna w. 


	6. Ch 6

Hey guys! I hope you like this! It's only half of a chapter, but the rest will be coming!  
  
Here's a couple of shoutouts as well!  
  
Cerridwen- ahhhhh ur awesome! Yeah.ur supposed to hate jack! He's an asshole in this one! Lol.sorry to all you jack lovers, but he'll be redeemed in the end! I LUV UR STORIES GIRL KEEP WRITING!  
  
Chalyce- of course you're too cool! Luv ur stories too! Keep it up!  
  
Stupidchocolategirl- THANX! I hope you like this update..i worked hard on it! Lol  
  
Fatbottomgirl- I'm sooo glad you like it! I'm glad I'm catching the readers attention! Ur sooo sweet!  
  
Rhapsody- wow! That's scary that this is so close to your life! The reason I wrote it was cuz it sounded so much like mine too! Lol..sooo happy you like it!  
  
Lucky- Thanx for the review! Katie is based off of a real person so that's why she's real! Lol! I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter!  
  
Ice Renegade/Emotions- ahhhhh I finally get to thank you in shoutouts for being one of my most faithful and awesome reviewers! I luv your stories girl and thanx so much for everything!  
  
Dreamer- Thanx! Your first review really inspired me to write more!  
  
Rede- God ur sooo nice! I hope you like this next installment!  
  
Much love to all my awesome reviewers! If you have any questions or just wanna talk you can im me or email me! W/e floats ur boat!  
  
Lol read, review and enjoy!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
They let me sleep late.  
  
I don't know why my parents permitted it. Usually I would be made to get up, get dressed and work for the day. I wouldn't have objected. My life, disobedient and disgraceful as it was, had ended the night before with Spot. There was no use in making any connections now.  
  
Nevertheless, when I woke up that morning, the bright sun shining through the filthy window, I heard no sound below me, or around me. The house was silent. I knew my family had left for the store, but why leave me behind?  
  
For once, I truly felt I wanted to go. I wanted to escape my troubling thoughts and as always the never-ending doubts that shot through my mind like arrows, reminding me of how idiotic my life was. How stupid my decisions were, and most of all, how absolutely horrible my emotions were.  
  
I got up, stretching my arms in the air to relieve the tension in my whole body. If only it would work for my mind as well. It was weighed down with heavy worries and deep regrets.  
  
Seeing nothing else I could do, I decided to get dressed and walk to my father's store. It would keep me busy for the remainder of the time that I consciously had to think about everything.  
  
As I dressed myself in my common work cloths, including a long skirt and white shirt, I heard a knock at the door from downstairs. Looking up surprised, I quickly buttoned my shirt and headed down the creaky wooden stairs, stumbling slightly when I reached the uneven wood sticking up. Losing my balance and falling down several stairs on my bottom, I smiled as a sweet memory graced my troubled mind, just as sugar improves tea.  
  
It was a cold winter night, many months ago, when Spot had come to visit me late one night. The candle in my room had long ago blown out when he had knocked quietly on my window, waking me from a deep slumber. As I had forced open the window with a loud clatter, not even my parent's rage at the noise crossed my mind. When the window had been opened, the freezing breeze blowing into my room, my face, tired eyes and all, had met a very distraught and upset look from Spot Conlon. His eyes were covered with frozen tears. It had been a cold night, before Julia, before the pain of Jack.  
  
I remembered many things of that night. Closing the window to block the cold out from us after Spot had climbed in, looking surprised as he collapsed on my floor covering his face.  
  
I had sunk down to the floor with him, my frame shaking in the nightgown around me as the cold room had engulfed both of us. He looked up at me, his always-gorgeous face dirty and pale, hurtling pain traveling through his reddened blue eyes.  
  
Seeing the sixteen-year-old boy desperately stare at me, I had been so confused, but so willing to help him. He had sat before me, sobs still rattling throughout the small confines of my room, and finally I had gotten the courage to approach them.  
  
I quietly got up, pulling the warm blanket off my bed, using it as a deflective shield. I put it around his shoulders, sitting down next to him and pulled him towards me, holding him tightly as he would do for me in my hardest of times.  
  
At first Spot had just laid his head on my shoulder, letting silent tears flow as I felt his body shake with suspended sobs. His grief was so surprising, but still so moving that I felt tears come to my eyes as well.  
  
Finally, I felt his sobs sober slightly, but unexpectedly felt his arms come around to my back pulling me even closer to him. My shock and tiredness hit me, but I continued to hold him as tightly as ever. He held me with even more strength. Burying his head in my shoulder, I felt the wetness, but it mattered not. I was holding him, and all was right.  
  
When he had consented to stare up at me, his eyes still blurred with tears, I had wondered what would spur on such a sad happening, such a remorseful stance. He was the strong leader of Brooklyn; nothing was able to touch him. Until then, I supposed.  
  
I had asked him what was wrong, pushing his defrosting hair away from his face. He had looked through me, several more tears falling down his pink cheeks.  
  
He had whispered a story to me, his eyes possessing a distant stare. It was of a little girl whom he had loved dearly. His sister, Emily, had been a beautiful, sweet eleven-year-old girl.  
  
"I couldn't keep 'er, so I's put 'er in an orphanage.it was fer da best, Katie."  
  
Then his story became darker, making his eyes tear up fervently. She had been sickly, from the time she was born, susceptible to many things. Small colds were turned horrendous in her presence. Fevers could mean death. This time, the fact was proven true.  
  
"Dead, Katie.Jus' told me dat she was dead.da influenza, Katie.why did influenza have ta hit."  
  
He had grasped me tightly as these words had shook through him. It had been so hard to keep from crying myself. Spot Conlon was actually needy, actually as weak as the rest of us. There was no smirk hiding it any longer, no hard, cold disposition. He was indeed a mortal.  
  
I wondered greatly at why he had chosen to come to me that night. He could have gone to Jack, or even the girl that he had been dating then, but instead he came to my house, climbed up and tapped on my window. He had known even then, that I would not let him down.  
  
After he had cried thoroughly, finally releasing all of the horrifying emotion in him, he put his head on my shoulder, as tired as a child. He asked me so many things. What was he to do without his sister? What would I do if I lost my only living relative? Nevertheless, his biggest worry had to be, was he silly for crying?  
  
At that, I pulled him away from my shoulder, smiling, practically giggling. I told him that that was the least of his worries. It was normal to cry and finally he had shown me his humanness.  
  
Then something that I will never forget happened. It was so flowing so moving. It had been meant to happen. The beauty of it, the beauty of him and the timing of it all had been so perfect. As clear as crystal. As perfect as the sky on a calm day, with the clouds rolling past every once in a while, filling in a clear, impenetrable blue. His hands had remained on my back, tightening their already impassable grip. As I talked on how wonderful a person he was, and how wonderful a friend he was.so on and so forth- compliments, comforts, anything I knew that would help him. Suddenly, I stopped talking, feeling the grip on my back, looking at his tear streaked, awe struck face. He was staring deeply into my eyes, his lips quivering with unspoken agony, and held back tension.  
  
"Katie, I." he had stopped talking.  
  
Clink.  
  
The crystal was obvious, and he had leaned in, a connection so deep I could not understand.  
  
He had kissed me, softly at first, but deepening it, as he saw how I did not turn away. He held me close, the blanket wrapped around us both now, and he kissed me.  
  
When he pulled away, he shook his head, standing up. I stayed seated, confused and tired.  
  
"Dat was wrong, Kate, I'se sorry.I don't know what came." he stopped again, staring at my confused face.  
  
"Youses wit Jack, ya know," he muttered, "Dis ain't da right time.I'se wit Amelia.dough I knows it ain't gonna work." Again, he paused, staring deeply at me.  
  
I hadn't known what to say, I hadn't expected a kiss, but most of all, I had not expected the effect it had had on me. The kiss had awakened something deep inside of me, which I had not known had existed. As I stared at him, a new light shone on both of us. It was beautiful, but I was too dumbfounded to say so.  
  
Finally, he had left me sitting there. He climbed out of the window stunned and I stayed stunned for the next week and a half. I walked the streets looking for him for the first couple of days, but then, Jack had come, so there was no hope to look for. I had stopped thinking about it, hoping that the feelings would go away as well.  
  
When Spot Conlon had shown up at my window one late afternoon nearly two weeks later, they were again aroused. He had asked me to come see his sister's grave with him and of course, I could not say no. Nor did I give him a negative answer for the many other times he had asked me to go with him. I was the only one that had gone to the grave with him. I would be the only one, until Julia.  
  
I had never told anyone of this kiss, nor had Spot or I talked of it since the happening. It had been shoved under the rug, as so many other things had with us. We were both scared to come out in the open, but I was much more scared for him to tell me exactly what he was feeling. I didn't want to know. Last years events still flowed deeply within me, and finally, I had taken a step to stop them for good.  
  
Shaking my head, I picked myself up off the stairs, realizing how silly I was to remember now of Spot's strange affection the year before. He had not meant it. He made sure to show me this much when I had introduced him to Julia. He had fallen for her. Enough said.  
  
I walked down the steps, making sure I would not trip again and trigger even more unwanted memories.  
  
When I reached the door, a heard another loud knocking take place. I stared at it strangely, attempting to look through the tiny glass peephole. Then I saw something that took my breath away. I shakily opened the door, wondering greatly at the person's reasoning. 


	7. Chapter 7

5

Hey guys!

I know…I know…I know…its been forever!

Thanks for being so patient with me…here's an update…I hope you enjoy it…there will be more!

Anna

Jack Kelly was dangerous.

The lively teenage boy, with his messy light brown hair and sweet smile would never be thought of as perilous, but I knew better. I knew better than anyone else did. Even Spot at first. Jack Kelly did not know his own strength and he did not know his own hurtful words.

I soon discovered that I knew them very well. I knew them so well that I can still to this day repeat every inharmonic syllable that came out of his surly mouth. They resound in my head during my sleep, and playfully cross my mind during the day, daring me to cry.

I don't hate him though. I could never hate him, but oh, I can't love him either. My love for him has drained from my body, as easily as water drains from the streets on a rainy day. It was a silly love anyway. I don't even know now if it had ever been real.

That is the thing about Jack Kelly that only I seem to pause about. He is secretly hiding something inside those deep brown eyes of his. Every girl he has dated would never know. He never dated them long enough for them to figure out the deadly truth. That year and a half we had dated, spent luxurious time together and many beautiful kisses, I had found out things that worried me down to the very core of my heart.

He was dangerous.

I wasn't scared at first thought. I thought I could help him, I could wean him off his addiction, his bad habits. I was vividly convinced that his horrible turn for the worst could be turned for the better. I was the one to help him. I would help him through the rages. I would lead him to a better place and take care of him. I had loved him after all.

How asinine could I get?

My stupidity caused things that should have never happened. My soft nature had allowed these things to continue. Why had I thought it would be okay? Why in the world, did I, Katie, think that I could make it alright for Jack's mad and troubled mind?

Oh, how surprised I had been when he had attacked me! I had spoken softly, come upon him during his first "bad spell". I thought perhaps he would be gentle too, but no. It was not to be that way. He had seized my shaking frame, yelling, screaming obscenities I never thought he would say. Ever.

A naïve twit was what I was! I had actually imagined that I would bring him back to his old self. That I would make it like the old days, when Spot had been single. When Jack and I had been our happiest. Kisses, hugs, everything had been perfect.

Why does reality sneak up upon one, and then catch them in an impenetrable net of bad decisions that cannot be altered?

_Yet another lunch, with its very eventful happenings, and as always, the happy smile upon Jack's lips as I walked into Tibby's. He gracefully walked over to me and kissed me. It was short, yet still left me tingling with the passion from it. _

_I had been making deliveries for my father. I usually tended to take a break to eat lunch with Jack and the boys. When my father inquired on my absence, I told him Mrs. Shelly had another one of her boring abhorring talking spells. Thank the Lord it wasn't true. What a true torture to have to listen to that woman! _

_Jack slowly guided me to a seat at an already occupied table. Its residents included the mysterious Spot Conlon, myself, Jack, and a blonde-headed boy with a patch named Kid Blink. _

"_Blink fa short, Katie," he had said out of good humor. _

_I smiled and uttered a laughing affirmative at his request. I also noticed Spot's intense glare staring me down. _

"_So, Blink," I began, staring back at Spot with a curious eye as well. "How does this Jack Kelly act on a day-to-day basis? Away from his oh-too-lovely goil?" _

_I saw Jack's eyes shining at me. I beamed back at him, barely able to control the happy giggle bubbling from the inside of my throat. Blink laughed as well._

"_Oh, well da scoundrel's so borin', Katie! All he does is talk bout his "new goil". All of us guys get poity tired of it!" _

_Jack, Blink and I busted out laughing, and I saw a glimmer of a smile from Spot's face. _

"_Oh, I'm sure he is, I'm sure he is. But I've heard this girl of his is the perfect picture of elegance and beauty," I replied, making the table erupt in laughing again. _

_Jack squeezed my shoulders, where his arm rested lightly, and I simply shook my head smiling sweetly at him. _

_After more slight chatter of this and that and many good laughs, Jack suddenly got up with Kid Blink to go talk to some of the other newsboys. _

"_I'll be right back," he said, kissing me swiftly on the cheek. "Don't try anything," he jokingly added to Spot. Then without another word, he walked away, leaving me uncomfortably alone with this unknown Spot Conlon. _

_I sat there for a moment, smiling flippantly, but noticed that Spot did not share this lightheartedness. He leaned back in his chair, regally almost._

"_I thought your date was nice at the party the other night," I commented, hoping to break the very uncomfortable silence that loomed over us, although so much happiness surrounded us. _

"_She won't last," he said shortly, yet seeing the shocked look on my face he elaborated, "I just have a feeling that we ain't gonna go too well together." _

_I nodded. Why was it that I felt so damned uncomfortable around him? All of Jack's other friends were so kind, so funny, and I could easily relate, but with Spot, something was very different. I couldn't tell what it was. His beautiful blue eyes captivated me, but his stern mouth and slightly callous responses made me angry. What was this? _

"_It does seem pretty poifect don't it?" Spot inquired quietly, shocking me from my already confusing inner dialogue. _

"_What does?" I asked, hoping that this would open the conversation and make it a little friendlier. _

"_Ya know," he said, lazily motioning his arm towards Jack who was crazily talking to some of his friends. "Ya life…now dat ya gots Jacky-boy." _

"_Perfect…I don't understand what you mean by that?" I asked looking into Spot's eyes. This seemed to shock him because his chair came to a loud bang on the ground. After gathering his bearings though, he got up, shrugging and started to walk away._

_Thinking this very strange, I turned toward him when he started to walk past me and went to say something, but he swiftly came close to my ear, whispering, "Maybe lata ya could ansuh dat question." _

_He walked away and toward Jack, apparently letting him know he was leaving. _

_I remember later telling Jack about that incident, insisting that Spot must dislike me. Jack had thrown this aside, saying that it was ridiculous. Spot would never not like me so soon into the game. _

_That had been my first fight with Jack, no matter how small it seemed then. Little did I know that Spot would be the subject of many later fights as well. Sickly enough, I never really took Spot's words into complete consideration._

_The crystal was too busy crashing over my head. _


End file.
